Couples Therapy Online
Sometimes it only takes a comment, a tone, or a moment of distance for things to shift quickly between you. One of you pushes to be understood, the other closes off or pulls away — and before long, it's hard to really hear each other.
In a close relationship, it doesn't take much to touch something far more sensitive.
When the Same Reactions Keep Coming Back
The subject of the conflict changes. The way it plays out often doesn't.
One of you might feel attacked and go on the defensive. The other might fear the distance and try even harder to be understood. Sometimes anger comes out too fast. Sometimes it's hard to say no or say where your limit is.
Even when you both try to explain yourselves, the same reactions keep coming back — and each person's reaction can easily reinforce the other's.
How I Work With You
Slowing Down What's Happening
Instead of focusing only on who's right or what the other person should change, we slow down and look at what's happening for each of you in the moment: what feels sensitive, what's hard to say or hear, and what leads you to defend yourself, insist, or pull away.
Coming Back to What You Actually Want
When a couple gets caught in conflict, it can help to come back to what each of you actually wants: What do I want for myself, and what do I want for our relationship?
Finding More Choice
Bit by bit, more of what's happening can be put into words — what you want, where your limit is, fear, anger — instead of going straight to withdrawal, blame, or trying to convince the other person.
You can't control how the other person reacts. But you can start responding differently.
What Can Become Possible
feeling free to be yourself in the relationship
feeling more safety and trust in the relationship
more ease and lightness together
feeling less caught in the same reactions
being able to relax more in each other's presence
staying connected even when you disagree
feeling more heard in what you're going through
My Approach With Couples
My primary framework is NARM, an approach that pays attention to the ways we've learned to protect ourselves — and how those ways can still show up in our relationships today.
My work is also informed by Honest Sharing, particularly in supporting more direct communication and helping you stay more connected with each other.
I also bring attention to the body, to what's happening in the present moment, to consent, and to each person's own pace.
What a Session Looks Like
75 minutes · Online
Depending on what's happening, I may sometimes spend a bit more time with one partner's experience while the other listens, and at other times support a more direct exchange between you. The work stays focused on your relationship and on each person's present experience.
Could This Be a Good Fit?
This work may be helpful if:
the same conflicts keep coming back despite your efforts
you feel more distant from each other
conversations get tense or defensive quickly, or one of you tends to shut down
trust has been shaken by a betrayal, a lie, or something else that hurt the relationship
closeness or intimacy has become harder
one or both of you has trouble clearly saying what you want, don't want, or need
you want to deepen a relationship that matters to you, even without being in crisis
FREE GUIDE
Not Sure This Is the Right Time?
If you recognize yourself in some of what you've read here but you're not ready to book a call, this guide can be a simple way to begin. It offers three anchors to help you stay more connected to yourself in the relationships that matter.
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Practical Information
75 minutes · $175 CAD · Online
A limited number of sliding-scale spots are available. If cost is an obstacle, you can simply bring it up during our first conversation.
A First Conversation
The free call is simply a chance to meet, ask your questions, and see whether the way I work might be a good fit for you.
Relational and Somatic Therapist
Online sessions · Montreal, Quebec
Email: contact@francoislacharite.com
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Certified member of ICAHP
Disclaimer: François Lacharité offers somatic and relational support. These services do not replace medical advice, psychiatric diagnosis, regulated psychotherapy, or medical treatment. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact emergency services in your area.
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